All That I've Left

by Matthew Scharpf

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released April 23, 2018

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Matthew Scharpf Berwyn, Illinois

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Track Name: All That I've Left
Well the walk this spring morning is cold
And our farmhouse is empty and sold
It’s the last time I’ll walk ‘long our river
And touch the trees that delivered
Your crimson, burnt orange, and gold.

You were always amazed this time of year
How fast the sun set and the chills reappeared
I think back to all of your pain
As the doctors would claim that
You’d be out of the woods, in the clear.

But oh what a show while your curtain was closing
Now your rocking chair’s empty and still
It’s all that I’ve left

I remember so much from that day
Watched your eyes well as the branches kept swaying
Felt the same wind you’d been painting
As your color slowly faded
From sunshine to dishwater grey

But oh what a show while your curtain was closing
Now your rocking chair’s empty and still
It’s all that I’ve left
It’s all that I’ve left

And the sun always found its way to your face
As you’re laying in bed after everything’s been said like a prayer
All the places we never went! All the letters never sent into thin air

One thing you left was a canvas half begun
Of your rocking chair worn out and numb
I still hear it crackling and creaking
Through loose boards in the ceiling
Oh some things just never get done
Track Name: Home
Home © Matthew Scharpf

She turned on her radio and I turned on my wrecking ball
She had only just punched in and I was in charge of letting her go
When did I become the one they loathe?

Waiting for the train that night breathing in the city’s poisoned air
There she is shoulders slumped crying on her train to who knows where
Watch out man you just might start to care

I’m home I’m home
No picket fence no light left on
I’m home I’m home and alone
I’m home I’m home
Doesn’t matter much where I go
I’m home I’m home and alone

Sitting silent on the train racing towards that skyline hell
Staring as the ties pass fast and the rails cast their soothing spell
How does everyone hear my leper’s bell?

I’m home I’m home
Doesn’t matter much where I go
I’m home I’m home and alone
I’m home I’m home
Just a suitcase for this callous soul
I’m home I’m home and alone…so alone

I’m home I’m home
No picket fence no light left on
I’m home I’m home and alone
I’m home I’m home
Doesn’t matter much where I go
I’m home I’m home and alone…so alone

I’m home I’m home
Doesn’t matter much where I go
I’m home I’m home and alone…so alone
I’m home I’m home
Just a suitcase for this callous soul
I’m home I’m home and alone…so alone
Track Name: Caroline
Caroline

In a sideways rain
The bus made us wait
Your dress asked the sun
To come out and play

I turned around umbrella in hand
Caught your smile that felt like sunshine
You’d cast your spell so I never could tell that you fell under mine

Caroline

We ran hand-in-hand
Up the courthouse steps
Only two months had passed
And your mama wept

We traded rings and clipped our wings
Together till the end of time
When you signed your name right under mine

Caroline

We may have missed some cues
And time has turned some screws
But through the twists and the turns
Your colors stayed so true

We’ve built archives
Been climbing slides
Leaning toward your endless sunshine
You say it’s never set ‘cuz you just reflect from being under mine
Track Name: Last Flight Out
Last Flight Out © Matthew Scharpf 2015

Full moon lights my empty place

tide is high and salt fills the breeze

The silence speaks as I'm mopping up

my millionth midnight in the Keys



I remember us getting off the plane

To Work a season maybe two

We'd clock out early every time it rained

Lay in bed and hear the drops hit the roof



And I recall those taillights fading out when you took the last flight out



Bought this sliver of a beachfront joint

The day you bought your ticket home

Now there's a line to get in nearly every night

Yet I'm always alone



When it rains I fall back in time

Before my stint behind bars

Then I return to serving drinks and time

Sentenced to life that isn’t ours



CHORUS


The moon is rising up the surf hits my feet

Take your picture out empty my bottle and fall to the beach

Try to find the words then it starts to rain and I understand

Lightning Flashes, thunder rolls
The storm has passed and so have we
Does the rain make you think of us
And what we unlocked with our turn in the keys?


And I recall those taillights fading out
 when you took the last flight out



Last flight out

Last flight out



Track Name: Leaving Country
Leaving Country

Time’s never there
To find where you belong in this old place
All these tangled knots and complicated things
Had the simplest ways

The rear view stares
The road I left behind begins to fade
Thoughts of turning back and I’ve traveled much too far
In the simplest ways

Leaving Country on a sun-soaked day
Driving over Mackinac try and find my place
Leaving Country and I can’t say why
With all the things that turn around when will I arrive

Where have I gone?
Followed all the signs with eyes wide as the road has turned
Been chasing down the sun and I’ve learned some of the hardest things
In the simplest ways

Leaving Country on a sun-soaked day
Driving over Mackinac try and find my faith
Leaving Country and I can’t say why
With all the things that I’d known before when will I arrive?

When will I arrive?

And I’ve come so far and yet I haven’t moved
The highway has cast its spell
And the engines drone and this disintegration had the simplest way.
The simplest way.

Can you hear me now screaming from my window?
Yes I’m crying, thinking about what it could have been
Can you hear me now?
I’m all strung out and withdrawn
Yes I’m dying, wishing about what it could have been

What we could have been! Can’t you see it with me?
Oh these days go by and yet it stays so clear.
Can’t you see us now? Can’t you see us? Can’t you see us?
Oh these days it seems to go by fast.

These days I often cry.
Track Name: When We Get There
When We Get There

When we get there we’ll be a pair.
Go to high school football games, know all the players.
And I’ll show you a place that’s always been,
Just a bit around the way, it’ll get under your skin
When we get there.

When we get there on a crisp October day,
We’ll smell the burning autumn leaves,
Watch the evening swallow the day.
And I’ll walk you to the fair for some ice cream.
Make you smile like a little child on the Wild Abilene.
When we get there.

And if you see what I see
Then please come with me
And we’ll find what we need
As we go.

When we get there, we’ll breathe the air.
Read the books you only read about in your favorite chair.
Without worries, time will be our friend.
Spend the day drinking lemonade write the letters never sent.
When we get there.

And if you see what I see
Then please come with me
And we’ll find what we need
As we go.

The birds will build their nests, the spiders their webs, and you and I our home
Our lives will compose a song, our kids will dance along, and our path will become a poem

When we get there, there’ll be a front porch swing,
Umbrella drinks and cool summer nights, we’ll hear the crickets sing.
And I’ll play you the songs you’ve heard before
Like an old friend suddenly pullin’ in and knockin’ on your door
When we get there.

And if you see what I see
Then please come with me
And we’ll find what we need as we go.

And if you take my hand
Who knows where we’ll land
But we’ll make our plans as we go.

© Matthew Scharpf 2010
Track Name: Roanoke (acoustic)
Roanoke

Punished myself today at how we used to be
Walking Talking in the woods
Always meeting by our tree near the fence
Where I carved out our names and misunderstood

That you were amazed at what I’d always want
For the little I’d rarely give.
You were the first pioneer on my heart’s frontier
And if you say I never tried, could you say I quit?

Roanoke, Roanoke
Why’d you have to leave?
Roanoke, Roanoke
Why you such a mystery?

When I came back you had gone
But our tree still remains
The fence has rusted and now I burn
All I have is your carved out name

Roanoke, Roanoke
Why’d you have to leave?
Roanoke, Roanoke
Why you such a mystery?

Leaves have fallen from our tree
Snow crunches under my feet
Seasons changed but oh not I
All I know is you deserved a reply

Roanoke, Roanoke
Why’d you have to leave?
Roanoke, Roanoke
Why you such a mystery?

Roanoke, Roanoke
Why’d you have to leave?
Roanoke, Roanoke
It’s not such a mystery
It’s not such a mystery
It’s not such a mystery
Track Name: Make Me Laugh
Make Me Laugh

I went away last weekend and she hardly crossed my mind.
On the way I swore I’d say we were both wasting all our time

Despite myself, again I’m in her arms just like before
Is this silence something I should fill? Should I dwell upon it anymore?

Then she says “Why don’t you make me laugh again?”
“’Cause you’ve heard them all before.”
“Why don’t you smile at me?” she says
“Don’t you love me anymore?”

We cruised dusty backroads Sunday and I swear she never heard a word
Driving home when the sun sat low everything got a little blurred

When she said “Why don’t you make me laugh again?”
“’Cause you’ve heard them all before.”
“Why don’t you smile at me she?” she said.
“Don’t you love me anymore?”

I could swear I love her but sometimes I grow tired
Of fearing what I feel and what she wants as I lie beside her

Maybe we’re keeping secrets we should both just let on out
But sometimes when her walls close in I search for some way out

When she says “Why don’t you make me laugh again?”
“’Cause you’ve heard them all before.”
“Why don’t you smile at me she?” she said.
“Don’t you love me anymore?”

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